Mike and I were out at a bar one night, and although it may seem like we’re totally self-absorbed (kind of true), we do like a little people watching with our alcohol.
I pointed out this guy who I thought was kind of awkward and unattractive, and was surprised when Mike disagreed.
Kayla: Wow, check out that mess. Sweet shorts, dude.
Mike: What? I think he’s really cute.
Kayla: Meh. He doesn’t have enough chin.
Mike: What???
Kayla: He has a weak chin. Not a fan.
Mike: That’s ridiculous.
Kayla: Why?
Mike: It just is. I mean he has *some* chin.
Kayla: Well yeah, he isn’t chin-less. He DOES have a lower jaw. It’s just weak. And therefore he looks weak. And I’m not attracted to weakness.
Mike: I don’t have much chin?
Kayla: You have more than him. And I don’t want to be attracted to you anyway.
Mike: Oh so you like your friends weak? I can’t believe you hate this guy. You don’t even know him.
Kayla: I don’t HATE him, I just think he’s a weak and pathetic excuse for a man. He probably has a very small penis.
Mike: You don’t know that.
Kayla: Well then, you know what you have to do now? Figure out a way to see his penis. I’m pretty sure he’s gay so you’re going to have to do it.
Mike: What?? Why?
Kayla: Because I want to know if it’s tiny or not.
Mike: I’ll just walk up to him and go, “So, are you gay or not? Also, do you have a tiny penis? My BFF says you have a weak chin and therefore probably have a tiny penis.”
Kayla: I think that sounds perfectly acceptable. It’s not like you have to see him again.
Mike: True, but I don’t want to be an ass.
Kayla: It would be so funny to blog about though.
Mike: That’s true.
Kayla: I feel like I can get you to do anything if I just mention how great it would be for our blog.
Mike: .............
Moral of the story: I am a horrible person. Hilarious, but horrible.
I pointed out this guy who I thought was kind of awkward and unattractive, and was surprised when Mike disagreed.
Kayla: Wow, check out that mess. Sweet shorts, dude.
Mike: What? I think he’s really cute.
Kayla: Meh. He doesn’t have enough chin.
Mike: What???
Kayla: He has a weak chin. Not a fan.
Mike: That’s ridiculous.
Kayla: Why?
Mike: It just is. I mean he has *some* chin.
Kayla: Well yeah, he isn’t chin-less. He DOES have a lower jaw. It’s just weak. And therefore he looks weak. And I’m not attracted to weakness.
Mike: I don’t have much chin?
Kayla: You have more than him. And I don’t want to be attracted to you anyway.
Mike: Oh so you like your friends weak? I can’t believe you hate this guy. You don’t even know him.
Kayla: I don’t HATE him, I just think he’s a weak and pathetic excuse for a man. He probably has a very small penis.
Mike: You don’t know that.
Kayla: Well then, you know what you have to do now? Figure out a way to see his penis. I’m pretty sure he’s gay so you’re going to have to do it.
Mike: What?? Why?
Kayla: Because I want to know if it’s tiny or not.
Mike: I’ll just walk up to him and go, “So, are you gay or not? Also, do you have a tiny penis? My BFF says you have a weak chin and therefore probably have a tiny penis.”
Kayla: I think that sounds perfectly acceptable. It’s not like you have to see him again.
Mike: True, but I don’t want to be an ass.
Kayla: It would be so funny to blog about though.
Mike: That’s true.
Kayla: I feel like I can get you to do anything if I just mention how great it would be for our blog.
Mike: .............
Moral of the story: I am a horrible person. Hilarious, but horrible.
It's weird how this so describes (closely) how many conversations I've had with my gay friends. Problem is - I'm the one that generally has to go up and ask to see the guy's penis.
ReplyDeleteCame across your blog on Jenny's site. LOVE!
I really depends on who is drunker in our situation. Sometimes, we will go and ask together. That way, they guy can take his pick of which one of us he prefers. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the love! <3